Holy chucks I can’t believe I did it! I mean, the thought had crossed my mind once or twice on bad days, but I actually did it o_O And it feels. So. Good.
Mind over matter
I’ve never really been happy with my call center job at a big insurance company (some days I pretty much hated it) and it was meant to be a temporary gig in the first place, but it had a pretty decent pay and I could manage my finances pretty well with only working 3 to 4 days a week. Quite the luxury when you’re used to working fulltime! So for the last few months I would just try to set my mind to zero, like we say in The Netherlands (it’s a little like mind over matter in this context), and just do my job for 8 hours a day until I could go home.
I was very lucky to have a few colleges with whom I connected really well and who felt the same way about the job. We could just wine to each other every now and then and get each other through the day. That worked well enough until a little over two weeks ago when I got food poisoning. After calling in sick I realized I was SO relieved I didn’t have to go to work. Never mind feeling sick as a dog, as long as I didn’t have to go to work.
Something must’ve just snapped after that realization, because during that weekend I started to really dread going back to work. So much that I even started to feel really anxious. I did go to work on Monday, but I somehow felt like I just couldn’t do it anymore. I asked my supervisor for a sit down and told him that I felt overworked and that maybe this job just isn’t for me. He was very understanding and nice about it and reduced my workload, so I could hopefully calm down a little over the next few days. But unfortunately I didn’t. A few days later I got a week’s leave to get some rest and I to think about what I wanted to do: stay and continue with a smaller workload until I got better or quit.
I think you can imagine when I say I didn’t really calm down a lot during my week off, because I had a big decision to make. Did I even, really? I mean, any sane person wouldn’t just quit their job in this economy, right? Especially not without another job lined up. It was a classic battle between the smart thing to do and the right thing (for me) to do. The one moment I would think “It’s a good job. I’m going to suck it up and go back to work on Monday” and the next I would get so miserable just with the thought of having to go back. After going back an forth a lot (read: A. LOT) I eventually I decided that nothing is worth it if it makes you miserable. There are other jobs (maybe one that I might even like!) and I have a small financial buffer that I can use for the next while. So I decided I would quit. And with that, it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.
Monday I went to talk with my supervisor to tell him I decided to quit and after that I handed in my laptop and pass, said my goodbyes and that was that. My supervisor and my colleges understood why I quit and were very supportive. I left the office feeling like I did the right thing.
While I expected to be worried about finding my next job and paying my bills by now, I find myself being mostly relieved and actually quite calm. Excited even! Maybe I’m still on a high from feeling so empowered, but I really feel like things will work out c:
I’ll be focusing on getting some inner peace for the next little while and after that I’ll start thinking about my next career move. At least I have enough time to work on my November Goals now ;p
Have you ever quit your job? Did it work out well for you or did you end up regretting it? Let me know in the comments! c; (comments)